6/14/07

Part Four, Some Annoynomus Hotel Room

I hit Maine with a full head of steam and then I guess all that steam just keep on going out into the ocean because I suddenly got very tired. I tried to go down the coast. Well, I did, but I got fed up with it in Deleware and started heading west and I've been doing the same thing everyday since then. Wake up, drive, find a hotel, sleep, repeat. Maybe its just that there isn't much in this part of the country that I am all that excitied about seeing, but that isn't really the case. On another trip I would like to spend more time in a couple of places out in the Midwest. But I don't think I have the real personality for just being on the road all the time. I figured this trip would take three weeks minimum and I'm actually going to make it back in about two and a half. Sort of an anti-climatic ending, althogh I wondered a lot about this blog as I was going along. It seems almost silly, really. But it's easier than sending postcards, and I remember this thing. Unlike the postcards, of which I have an every increasing stack of sitting unsent in my bag.

I haven't been taking pictures these last few days mostly because my camera has decided to vanish on me. I found it the other day and then it whisked away somewhere else. I think perhaps all the cluttered mess of debri in my car has formed a little gang and has been holding the camera hosted, claming that it was getting all the attention. Or perhaps the camera started hanging out with those items of its own free will, but as all bad influences, they've talked it into making some poor decisions.

That being said, here are a couple of photos that I hadn't put up yet of random things that really just do all the talking themselves and thus need none of my explanations:




































































Okay, so maybe some of them could use some explaination. The pink SUV could be explained. And if someone could do that, that would be great. Honestly, it had little decals of barbie-ish tinklebell things all over it. I walked past it once and barely noticed it. It wasn't till the second pass that I realized that it was painted like a thirteen year old girls backpack. And thats when things started to get weird...

6/9/07

Part Three, Maine Man

I'll bet you'll never figure out where that was. Never. Okay, well if you didn't it was Niagara Falls. The picture came out better than I thought it would, surprisingly.







There I am at the mysterious Mystery Spot. Why am I standing like that? I thought I was standing straight up. It felt like I was, because its the mystery spot. And I watched water roll up that board behind me. Yeah, UP that thing. Which is actually at a different angle, because my camera was being held at a weird angle when that was taken. There is some sort of weird gravitation anomaly there, or something. Either that or its all a trick, but I don't think it is, at least not all of it, though there are parts that are tricky.

I stayed at the Happiness Inn. Which is not the happiest place to stay. It wasn't that bad, but there was a hole in the wall, a bug in the bathtub, and bars on the windows. But it was late and I was in a hurry to find a place to stay for the night and it was the first place I found. I didn't see the sign till the morning, and by then I thought it was some sort of sarcastic joke as I was kept up all night by a banging radiator pipe.

This was in Canada. And it was awesome.

The books stores in Portland, ME are amazing. Books from floor to ceiling, and piles on the ground. You can barely move. Its like walking into a raging party, only all the guests are books, and they aren't drunk. Or dancing. Just sitting peacefully. So more like a boring party. But books! So many books!

I'm staying in Maine for another night, I've been here the past two days. I'm a little tired of driving, still trying to get the energy back up. I'll probably post in a day or two. With more of my delightful insight. So wonderfully delightful.

6/4/07

Part Two, Rain Delay

Since my last post I've had about a half day of clear skies. The rest has been wet, stormy, foggy, and generally poohy. So as it has almost been a week and I've barely stayed in one spot for more than enough time to take a shower and a nap I'm now staying in a little city just outside the US border to Michigan. Instead I'm going to head over to Niagra Falls and go through back into the home country that way.



So, "how" ya'll doing? Ha, man I'm clever. That wasn't in Canada, that was in Minnesota. It's nestled right across the street from:








These two, which appeared to be under construction. I was soaking when I took those pictures, the rain was going down faster than a drunk on new years eve. Or so I reckoned.

I'm staying at a Comfort Inn that is right next to a place called "Zellers," which is basically a Canadian Wal-Mart (though theres an actual Wal-Mart a block or two from here). I walked in there and looked around a bit a little while ago and the first thing I heard was this nice soothing Canadian song about maple surup or something (that sounds like I'm being stereotypical, but I'm pretty sure thats what it was about). Not thinking much of it I walked a ways more into the store only to realize it was coming from a loudspeaker but from an actual live Canadian folk band in the lobby of the store. All dressed up like they were on the way to the county fair. The weird thing is its a Monday. And its not a holiday. They were just there. Singing. Later as I walked around the store they were gabbing amongst themselves in the in store resturant, I waved, and they ignored me, or didn't see me, or whatever.

When I started out I said that the one thing I would not do on this trip was let my gas light come on. I made it maybe three days before I had a nerve racking and painful forty-five mile drive with the gas light on and the needle well below the E. The worst part of the whole thing was that one of the exits that I was praying to have gas at, that didn't, was a little farm town called Fallon. I think the road gods were mocking me a bit. When I did finally find an exit that said Gas I had to drive about ten miles into town to get to the first gas station, cursing every business I passed along the way for not having gas and petting my car and talking to it in baby talk telling it everything was going to be okay. When everything is working in my car its just a cold metalic object. When your counting road mile markers and praying that you'll get a little bit of cell phone reception to call someone to bring you some gas the car becomes a poor dying child, and all your thoughts go to her well being.

That was the hotel room I stayed in a couple nights ago. Frilly, pink, and with one channel on the television. Don't stop for a motel in Aitkokan, Ontario. Trust me. That was the only place open that wasn't full. The rest of the town was dying, it seemed. Several other motels, even the ones listed on the little town map I picked up in a gas station, were all closed. For Sale signs hung loosly and neglected in their windows. I was afraid to stand under them for fear they could fall at any moment, and I wondered to myself, is this whats happening to all small towns? Just collapsing as people flock to the island oasises of bigger and bigger cities? I've passed hundreds of milies, thousands of miles, of wilderness, of places with trees or sagebrush or rocks that have no one around. They seem somewhat habitable, some of them at least, but they are just empty. Farms decorate some of the landscape, but it seems no one wants to live in a place without its own Barnes and Nobel, Best Buy, and Wal-Mart. Once upon a time these stores would set up were there were people, now they set up and the people come to them. I suppose I don't really blame anyone or any corporation for this. I just wonder how many small towns are going to be left? They either grow or they die, and although I don't really want to live in that small of a town, I also don't want to see them go extinct. Yet I start off this paragraph making a bit of fun of one, so go figure.

I suppose the reason I don't want to see these small towns go away is because of things like this. I'm not sure of the name of the town this was in. It was a little bypass route for a highway in Minnesota. And I have no idea what the significance is. But you can't look at a eight foot tall turkey and not think; this place is doing something right.

5/31/07

Part One, an Original Title

Let me just say:



That was in Moore, Idaho. I stopped and had a chat with people at what appeared to be the most happening spot in the whole town. That spot was the gas station, and I saw five people there, or 1/40th of the towns population. Us Moore's are popular.

While I was in Idaho I came across the "ICE CAVES" which are exactly what they sound like. Up to forty something feet of ice lines the floor in the caves, but the best part of the guided tour were these guys:



Nothing beats moderately racist art, let me tell you. Those things were four feet tall, and just sitting out there in apparently the middle of nowhere. Of course, I say it is moderately racist, but they are supposed to be cave men, not Native Americans, but when you first show up at the roadside attraction, there is a, and I'm not making this up, a cave man riding a giant plaster dinosaur. My picture didn't come out at all unfortunately. But there are also some bright yellow and dark brown colored wooden Indians out front, standing tall right next to dinosaur riding cavemen. Places like "ICE CAVES" are the reason I'm on this road trip and not just flying to where I want to go. But so far, and this is the morning of day three and I'm sitting in Butte, Montana, I haven't found any more of these Road Sides. I long for the days when they were all over the place, when people drove instead of flew and there was actually some money to be made by exploiting the hell out of a particular spot on your state.

And I'm off.

5/22/07

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Road Trippin'

Wherein the title of the blog comes from.